Lisa Whittle

For those…our Growing Pains Hurt

In Blog, growth    8 comments

Nov 30

Last Wednesday I posted THIS POST about growing pains.  From the feedback I received from it, I have heard you say that I am not alone.

But today, I am mindful…that for every one of us who is journeying through the pains of growth, there are those faithful people who love us enough not to run away, no matter how ugly we get.  As messy as it can be, we are fortunate if there is even one.

This post is for them.

Maybe that them is you.

…if you have someone in your life that has pulled away from you, clung to you, or acted out toward you and you do not understand why.

My hope, today, is to give words to the unspoken…for it is often that a heart in the midst of growing pains cannot say what is felt.

Here is that heart, put to words.

~It is not your fault.  You are not making me needy or distant or unkind.  I feel safe with you, and sometimes that trust is at your expense. Don’t own my struggles, as you are not responsible for them.

~It is not your territory.  No matter how much I try to involve you in my struggle, I need you to love me enough to let God do what He wants to in me without trying to ease, manage, or control.

~I can be better.  I need you to not give up on me, as I can get better.  It is why what I do need from you is prayer, encouragement, belief and love.  Those things in my life will help me journey through my growing pains.

It is right to honor the growth in people, just as it is right to set necessary boundaries with those you love who are experiencing the stormy seas of growth…in order to honor your own well-being.  It is also right to resist throwing people away, in the midst of their struggle, as Jesus never has, will or does.

If you are one of the few who has chosen to stick around, God bless you for it.

But for that day when the growing pains of the one you love hurts you, may these words speak to your heart, minister to your soul.

Because it can be tough…loving someone who is growing.

Question: What do you most need to know when someone you love is experiencing growing pains and it’s affecting you?

{*If you are the one journeying through growing pains but can’t find the words to say…maybe you will want to share this post with the loved one in your life.}