When People Don’t Get You
In Blog, growth, personal 10 commentsFeb 27
The memory is forever etched in my heart. I was 17. It was summer youth camp.
God had been stirring in me, in a way I didn’t fully understand. What was happening inside me was real. And I could not hold it in.
It came out in massive soul heaves on stage, the last night of testimonies.
God is amazing, I said, between tears. He is real, you know. We have to stop playing games and start living for Him like we say we want to. Come on, guys…let’s do this!
I was passionate, but not totally confident. So when in the midst of my zealous Jesus pleas, my eye caught the camp speaker standing in the back of the room, I became embarrassed. He was not nodding or amen-ing. Instead, he was trying to hide his laughs behind his hand.
His laughs weren’t loud. They were the low snickering kind that are meant for people who are saying something silly — the bless her young heart, isn’t this cute laughs that cause young women who are still figuring out who they are to re-think their actions.
Young women, like me.
I stepped off the stage, silently making these promises: I would not speak out loud like that, again. I would let the radical Jesus stuff be talked about by Christians much more qualified than me. I would keep praying to fade into the crowd because crowd faders would never be outspoken enough for people to find them silly.
All because someone who didn’t know what God was stirring in me just didn’t get it.
My friend, this happens.
We dream and we share that dream with someone who doesn’t find it important.
We see flashes of our future in everyday manifestations…things that ignite us and what we can’t hold in and where we feel most at home and someone doesn’t make the connection with what all that has to do with what we will become.
And we begin to believe that our dreams are not worthy, our stirrings do not have merit, and we aren’t capable of seeing the signs that God, indeed, is bringing all our uniqueness together for a specific purpose. And in that, our gifts risk our silence.
Because we feel judged. Out of our minds. Silly. And what we don’t realize is that others may not mean to judge or dismiss, and often…it will be our own insecurities that assume, otherwise.
But sometimes God is doing something in us that not even we will fully understand. So we cannot expect others to.
So let us not question or doubt the stirrings. Let us not dismiss the signs and passions just because someone who can’t see inside our soul doesn’t get us.
But let us walk faithfully forward; pursuing our purpose, diving into what we sense God prompting us to do, whether or not it makes sense to even us.
Because when He fashions, He fashions well. And when He calls, He calls loudly. And what He starts, He finishes.
In you…in me…in us…the good work.
*Conversation: How much does it mean to you to have people get you? Have you ever been stifled because you feared they wouldn’t?
{The answer to the question from last week’s giveaway of an audio book of {w}hole: What was the one question I was asked by Roxy from Neue that I’ve never been asked before…is: “What was the original {w}hole book supposed to be about?” Though no one guessed this, Kristy Lynn was the first to take a guess, so she is the winner! Congrats, Kristy. To listen to the podcast, click HERE.}
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This is a truth I needed to be reminded of right now! Thank you for this…people getting me has always been too important too me and yes it has stifled things way too much. Thanks for the encouragement and perspective check today! Blessings, Jill
Sending love to you, Jill. Be well, friend!
Thank you Lisa, for once again showing us your wounds to help make others whole.
Ugh, that need we have to be understood, to have someone walk the hard path along with us. To have a true soul mate. I am still learning that God is truly the only One that can fill that hole inside me.
Because I have always been codependant and an extreme people pleaser others’ opinions of me were vitally important but I am learning to change all that.
I have come to learn recently that my gift is that of encourager and not counselor and that I need God every moment of every day to help me make this a reality in my life and the lives of others.
I had to learn (through countless trial and error) that I cannot do this on my own. That it is a God given gift but cannot be fruitful without His help. Just like Peter walking on the water I must lean on God continually to “make this work”.
I always thought I would just link into God and then be on my merry way, that it would stick and I could just do life with Him busy somewhere else in the world….
Silly, foolish me. It still sounds Christian cliche to say I need God every moment of every day BUT I do.
Thank you for continuing the conversations.
Be Well,
Lina
I hear this, Lina. I need God every moment of every day, too. It is as it was meant to be, friend.
As someone who struggles with the fear of rejection, I can confidently say yes, I let others’ opinions stifle me. My concern about how they will react silences me; I say “No” to me for them rather than letting them decide for themselves.
Katie
Thanks for being honest, Katie. We all struggle with the fear of man’s opinion, to some degree. I’m going to pray for you, my friend, that God will help you only seek His opinion of you. It’s hard, but it’s possible.
I think it makes me feel better to know that I am not the only one who feels so isolated sometimes. I can’t remember the last time I felt like anyone really “got” me! Just trying to move forward despite it. I thoroughly enjoyed the podcast, by the way. So glad you shared it with us. It was so nice to hear your thoughts behind some of the chapters.
Thanks, Tamara. Be well, my friend!
One thing that this post reminds me of is the message our Pastor shared this past Sunday…many times over, in life, we need to be careful with whom we share our dreams with.
This isn’t to say we shouldn’t share from our platforms at all, but the deeper stuff of our hearts…we need to be very discerning of. I have learned such a lesson deeply time and time again.
Why is this such a challenge to balance…to share vs. what not so share? Talk about a delicate balance.
I agree, Marni. It is a delicate balance, indeed. But I also think it teaches us to seek greater discernment and wisdom, and that is something that God promises to give us if we ask for it. I think it’s a process of growing and maturing in our faith to know when to share things, closest to our heart, and with whom to share them with. Thanks for these honest thoughts.