Very recently, I said no to something good to say yes to something better…

I haven’t always done that.

Because saying no to good things is hard; and most of us aren’t that good at it.

And if I let myself, in a quick second I will sit and mourn…the times I said yes when I should have said no…the hours I have invested in things that were to save face, make someone else happy, not miss out, feed my fear until it was fat and belly-scratching happy.  I admit, I’ve done that, plenty.

But instead I choose to use this moment to honor the beauty of learning when to say no, in the hopes that both you and I will keep these compass truths close when we are tempted to say yes to something on the wrong terms.

We must say no, even to the good thing….

1)   When the yes is out of fear or control.  When our motive of saying yes to something is driven by fear [of losing a relationship, not getting ahead, man’s opinion, etc.] or desire to control, we are saying yes for the wrong reason.

2)   When the yes would compromise a core belief or primary responsibility. God will never ask us to do something that would compromise His Word or injure our commitment to family.

3)   When the yes is more about flesh want than spiritual burden. A self-gratifying yes can be portrayed to others to be “of God”; but He knows where our heart is truly leading us and in that omniscience, holds us accountable.

4)   When the yes is because we misunderstand our gifts.  It is freeing, when we understand that even good things may not be a good fit for our giftings – recognizing how God may want to use someone different in a certain space, giving us room to say yes to things that are most suited for us.

5)   When the yes doesn’t settle well in our spirit.  God has graciously given us the Holy Spirit to be our internal guide in life, and for the believer, a yes with a wrong motive will not settle well inside.  Gratefully, this gift of discernment helps keep us operating in healthy ways when we listen and respond.

This journey we are on, friends…it’s a decision journey.  It’s years and days and moments of yes and no.

May we, even today, have the wisdom to choose what’s best.


*Conversation: Do these guidelines help you better determine when to say no? If yes…which one means the most? […and pass this post onto your friends to help them, too! :)]