I post this picture on IG, not feeling particularly brave, just wanting to be honest: of me with my people on Easter (sans the photo taking hubby) in the outfit I wore from shopping my closet.
And I write some words with it, about how I’m on this year long shopping fast and how I go to the mall with my son this weekend to get him some prom things and how IT IS HARD. Because Easter pretties on mannequins, everywhere. And the new clothes smell. And the fact that jean gauchos are back in and they were my jam in the 90’s and I want a pair so bad it makes me crazy if I think about it. (JEAN GAUCHOS, people. Someone please acknowledge these are epic.)
I go on this shopping fast because I am tired of something keeping me from God. Period. I could tell you all the words now: about how I don’t buy expensive things and I don’t go in debt when I shop and how I am a creative so clothing is one way I express myself as an art.
But I’m tired of that empty speech. I’m tired of letting a little thing turn into a big thing that keeps me away from God because it has too much of my energy.
The truth is, little nothings keep us from God, too.
Little things – oh, it’s nothing things — turn to big things when we let them go. Habits turn into sin before we know it. And sin is never little, no matter how little it starts.
And little things are usually about hiding. If we can hide from the way we feel about our past or our mess of a life or our weight or our insecurity or having to face God, we can better deal. That theory works great until it doesn’t. Because one day we wake up, surprised that the usual buttons we push are broken.
And hiding is not truth. And anything that’s not truth is not God.
Our little nothing is not nothing if it becomes a replacement for God.
And when we get tired of the empty speech and sick of broken buttons, we will do whatever it takes to see things change.
*To read/learn more about this and how wanting God most helped me see my need to go on a shopping fast for a year, there’s lots in I Want God. Here’s a small excerpt, from my journal, included in chapter 6. (Order I Want God HERE.)
p.s. You may have noticed that I have removed comments from the site. It is not because I don’t want to hear from you: I DO. I’d love for you to share your thoughts on my FB, Twitter, and IG places. (Links to each if you click on the word.)